(Prov 21:19 NLT) It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.
This morning we continue our series entitled “Unlocking the Power of Proverbs – Walking in the Wisdom of God.” Here Solomon teaches us about the importance of effective and positive communication in relationships (specifically marriage). The Contemporary English Version of this text reads: “It’s better out in the desert than at home with a nagging, complaining wife.” Now, when we read “desert” we may think of a sandy picturesque place we have seen in the movies. But in Solomon’s time the readers would have pictured a much different place. The desert is unforgiving. When you are in the desert without shelter you are exposed to some of the worst conditions – storms, tempests, unspeakable heat, etc. – on the planet and you are also vulnerable to beasts of prey. No question, the desert is a very dangerous place, but Solomon says that men would actually prefer to deal with the dangers of the desert than to have to deal with a nagging and complaining wife. That’s a powerful statement and it’s true. Why? Because just as much as the words of a supporting wife can be like the ‘Balm of Gilead,’ the words of an unsupporting and constantly nagging wife can be life-draining. The childhood cliché, “Sticks and stones may break by bones, but words will never hurt me” might have made sense on the playground, but it doesn’t hold true in real life. Words not only hurt, but they can cut deep. Back in chapter 15 Solomon said, “Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim” (v.4). Many spouses have maims their counterparts with cutting words.
Solomon actually said something very similar to this in the 9th verse of this same chapter; saying: “It’s better to stay outside on the roof of your house than to live inside with a nagging wife.” When commenting on that verse I said: “It has been said that every man has both a king and a fool in him, and which ever one is spoken to more, which ever one is nurtured and developed, that will be the one he becomes. I can say, without a doubt, that my wife has spoken to the king in me. She believed in me when no one else did; she’s my biggest fan. My desire is to pour into her as she is always pouring into me. Ladies, never underestimate the power of believing in your husband! When he knows that you believe in him it gives him wind beneath his wings. Even if the world is against him, he can feel unstoppable if he knows that you believe in him and that you support him.”
So what does this mean to you today? A few things:
1. For wives: Speak to the king in your husbands. The more you speak to the king in him, the more he will believe it and become it.
2. For husbands: Welcome the support of your wife and allow her to speak into your life. She is graced by God to minister to you in ways that NO ONE ELSE CAN, OR SHOULD!
3. For husbands and wives:
a. Never make your spouse dread coming home. If they dread coming home they might wind up somewhere else.
b. Make your home a supporting sanctuary. You have to deal with enough in the world. Do all you can to make your home a nurturing and loving environment where dreams are believed and encouraged!
c. Put a smile on each other’s faces. Make your home so pleasant that your spouse leaves each morning with on a smile on their face, a spring in their step, and a song in their heart. This way they can ‘whistle while they work.’
Closing Confession: Father, I thank You for this revelation. Your Word is awesome and it shows me how to live and enjoy life to the fullest. I thank You for my spouse and I declare, by faith, that I will be the blessing to them that You desire for me to be. I speak life (and never death) into my spouse daily. I build them up and I never tear them down. You grace me to minister to my spouse in ways that I only I can and only I should. My spouse welcomes my input because I always share it in a loving and caring way. I never make my spouse dread coming come. Our home is a supporting sanctuary of peace where dreams are encouraged, believed, and supported! When my spouse leaves my home, they leave with a smile on their face! I declare that by faith. In Jesus’ name. Amen!
This is Today’s Word! Apply it and Prosper!
